For more than half my life, I’ve wanted to be a writer. But I was only effective at it when I was
super depressed and/or experiencing a turmoil of different emotions, especially
unfamiliar ones. By nature, I’ve never
been a very emotional person. And
writing was my only method of dealing with them when they came in large
quantities. I also was drinking heavily
when I wrote effectively.
Fortunately, I’ve not had to deal with much depression of
unfamiliar waves of emotions since I met my wife.
Unfortunately, that has meant I haven’t written pretty much
anything.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of brilliant ideas all
the time. I just am not effective at
putting the ideas into the appropriate words to make a good story. Now I probably could still do well with that
since there’s a lot of horribly written stories that stem from good ideas. (Read: Dan Brown, Stephanie Meyers,
etc). But I wouldn’t feel good about
associating my name with a crappy story even if it gave me millions of dollars.
Many people that know me will be surprised that I included
Stephanie Meyers as an example. I think
the idea behind her premise is fine (except for the sparkling vampire crap),
but they are among the worst written stories ever made. That’s for another blog though.
I ‘d love to start writing good stuff again, but I don’t
want to be in the situations I have been in previously which led to be being an
effective writer. And I don’t want to
“force it,” because every time I do, I just churn out crap and it deteriorates
into worse crap if I continue to “force it.”
As for drinking, I drink from time to time, but never more
than 2 drinks on a day. I don’t plan to
change that, as I don’t have the need to escape from life any more.
That’s it for my first blog entry. We’ll see what develops over time.
